After getting mugged with my girlfriend two weeks ago, I caught the train again to Bellville on Wednesday. My carriage was completely empty and on a line that I was totally unfamiliar with. The experience was absolutely terrifying as I just sat there with the full knowledge that some skollies could target me and I would be forced to go through that oppression and humiliation again. Every stop was agony and I even got lost inside the very dodgy and corrupt Bellville train station. Even at my meeting in Bellville I was still shaken up and a little disoriented from the fear emotion that was pulsing through my veins. After the meeting, Mkhuseli and myself sat down to discuss and we then caught a taxi back to Cape Town.
The Trains were broken and late, and Cape Town station was a chaos at rush hour. I didn’t mind, I had high spirit taking over my body and mind. I felt a sense of accomplishment but more so my spirit was uplifted and I could see myself and reality so much more clear and loving than usual. However, and here is my reflection: Fear is a monster, it is deep, it eats at our flesh and consumes our souls. It holds us and binds our hands and feet, it silences us and it blinds us. It is very real and it is also felt as real both in the body and in the mind. To face fear is an unbearable task, to actively choose to step into the dark is so hard that we can feel that we will die or burst or collapse with anxiety.
To be afraid with purpose is to face ones fears. You have to live that experience. It cannot be an intellectual or abstract experience, it must be lived, you must dig in your heals, feel your stomach churn and stare that huge demon right in the eye and take a step. You must not crack under the pressure and you must have faith. You must believe that you are worthy of fulfilling your divine destiny, that your fears are not larger than your spirit, that you will come out of that tunnel and that God’s light will shine on you, if you allow it. What I ask is that we all reflect on our lives and goals. To take into consideration our soft sides that we protect so very much to our own detriment. We can make our lives into lives that others can look at and learn from, we can lead this nation of diverse, traumatized and talented peoples and we can do it fearlessly and with grace.
Yours in Inspiration, faith, love and understanding.
Peter Wright is Pedro Wright on Facebook.